Up Close and Personal (Or Aging Ungracefully)
I begged for glasses in elementary school. A few of my friends rocked new prescriptions, and I turned green with envy. Their eyes failed them, and somehow this made them special. There was glamour in myopia. I’d buy sunglasses and knock out the lenses, desperate to share in whatever attention I thought a diagnosable condition might attract. I avoided carrots, tempted Apollo by staring into the sun, and sat too close to the TV. Despite my best efforts, my only diagnosis was perfect vision. My childhood fantasy of glasses passed with my love of My Little Pony figurines, and by middle school, I felt relief at not having to deal with lenses or face the absolute horror of touching my own eyes to insert contact lenses. Shudder. No, thank you. Let’s skip the part of the story where I shaped handmade wires over my teeth when my friends started getting braces. (Not that I didn’t need braces. But after the unfortunate incident in third grade, in which my teeth allegedly assaulted Dr. Johns...